Once Upon a Rose of Ice
by BlackBird6295
Summary: What's the secret to going back to make things right? You don't. You pick up the pieces and move forward. When tragedy plagues Naruto's heart and erases his will to go on, all life seems to stand still. You'd be surprised, really. How easy it really is for just one person to change the entire fate of another. For better, or for worse. KibaNaru collab with MugenDemon!
1. Pilot

_**Pilot**_

"I just can't, Naruto..."

Composure teetering on the edge of a blade, Naruto stood utterly agape, shaking his head at his friend; he couldn't hold himself back any longer.

"Stop saying that, Sasuke!" he yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at the boy who stood before him. "You _know_ that it's bullshit, and so do I."

"Naruto, please," Sasuke pleaded, defensively and frighteningly shaking his head back at Naruto, searching desperately for anything he could say that could calm his friend's rage. "I…I…"

"Don't you see!? You're doing it _again_!" Naruto harshly declared, throwing his hands aimlessly into the air around him, startling the fragile boy in front of him even further. Sasuke was trembling, horrified as he felt Naruto relentlessly tear down the final walls of defense that remained decrepitly standing in his soul.

"Stop making all these worthless _excuses_ for yourself! Sasuke! This isn't who you are!" the blonde screamed, a firm tinge of searing desperation scraping through his raspy, weary voice. Taking hold of Sasuke, Naruto shook him as if trying to wake him from a dream...

Then came a moment of burning silence. The wind outside was racing, howling as longing, cerulean eyes trembled before Sasuke's hollow gaze, a glare devoid of life. An eternity had surely passed before the raven-haired boy felt Naruto's hands loosen their fierce grip on his shoulders, the warmth they offered receding from his petrified body as he pulled his arms away.

Naruto looked into Sasuke's eyes, detecting a sudden hint of desperation which cried, _begged_ for help. Feeling the tension that consumed him leave his body, Naruto's shoulders sunk as his breathing returned to normal like an ocean in the eye of a hurricane. His lips pursed, and his eyes softened as Sasuke prepared himself as best he could for what would be said next.

"I'm not sure if I can do this any more..." Naruto said solemnly.

 _Shattered._

"No… _please_ , Naruto," he implored the blonde, feeling his eyes widen and glisten wildly, threatening to release the salted tears that he had been biting back for years. With each passing second, he felt the sensation of his heart being ripped through his chest as it sunk through the floor and down to the depths of the earth. " _Please..._ not you too…"

All was quiet, and Naruto held Sasuke's gaze for a long while, shaking his head softly with disappointment and pity. Completely unmoved by the tears that but a moment ago had just begun to slowly creep down Sasuke's face, and with a heavy heart of stone, Naruto turned to leave.

"I just can't do this anymore, Sasuke," he spoke softly to the floor beneath him, hearing every breath Sasuke took, listening to his faltering voice which longed to speak what couldn't be spoken, and feeling the raven's sorrowful gaze pierce the back of his skull.

"Do what you want...but don't ever think that I didn't try." Naruto said.

Beginning to walk across the room and toward the door, Naruto suddenly felt a cold hand grasp his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. He glanced back over his shoulder, his eyes finding his friend's hand, but absolutely refusing to look fully upon Sasuke any longer. The raven held to Naruto's body as if he were trying with every last fiber of his being to pull him back from plunging off a precipice. Naruto looked away once again, focusing on the cold, dark hardwood floor upon which they stood.

"Please, Naruto," Sasuke begged to the blonde's resolve, "Don't go. You're the...the one friend that I have left."

Hearing the defeated scratch of his throat and feeling the weak and weary desperation laced in the other's voice, Naruto felt his stone heart begin to crumble to pieces. A single tear escaped from his eye as he squeezed both shut, and he felt its burn as it slid slowly down his whiskered cheek.

It would be a tear that Sasuke never knew had fallen.

"I remember my best friend," Naruto said suddenly, his voice sounding like a bell in the deep silence that held the two a moment before, filling the cold, dark room with what would come to echo through their hearts and resonate through their souls for the rest of their lives.

"His name was Sasuke Uchiha, but he died a long time ago." Naruto turned toward him slightly, yet still unable to meet Sasuke's gaze.

"I don't know who you are."

Sasuke's iron grip weakened as he heard his friend's words suddenly take the form of white noise. He felt his body and soul plunge down into a darkness from which he knew he could never return. Naruto, feeling his friend's restraint receding, lightly shook himself from the empty hand that longed for his help. Walking resolutely across the remaining space of the room with tears now streaming freely down his face, Naruto left the home, never looking back as he closed the door which now stood between himself and the best friend that he left in the cold room, lifeless and broken.

 _One Month Later..._

Leading away from a small town, a lonely, decrepit road found Naruto's footsteps crunching through the thin layer of snow that had come to call the cracked pavement home. Journeying away from the place where he attended university, the blonde's destination was well-known to him: a dilapidated little bar which had stood in the same place ever since Naruto could remember. The blonde never cared to complain when the broken-down establishment surfaced as a place for him to pretty much call home these days. The bar itself was little more than a wooden shack and had only a few regular patrons now, which was a shame, really; Naruto found that it was generally warm and friendly inside, complete with a long wooden bar along the back wall and several small tables adorning the loose floorboards found just through the front door.

It had held up through the years though, and now once again Naruto found himself standing before it on this cold December afternoon. Though its rustic charm had become unnoticed by Naruto at this point, its walls stood steadfast against the snow which quietly fell from the gray heavens above. Though empty as he felt at this moment, Naruto couldn't help but recall a passage from a story he had once been forced to read in a high school literature class:

 _His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead._

Grasping the rusty metal doorknob, Naruto opened the door to the bar, feeling the ice which glazed the knob sting through the gloves he wore. Stepping inside, he heard the creaky, ancient door close behind him as he let go of it without interest, walking inside as it secured itself into a doorframe which was slightly too small for the door due to the warping of the scratched wood over years of wear and tear. He made his way across the quiet room, leaving faint tracks of melting snow where he walked, finally taking a seat at the bar. He unbuttoned his heavy, black wool peacoat and set his gloves down on the bar. The few patrons that were there barely registered the presence of the twenty-two year old boy who had come in from the cold, his hair lightly glistening from the ice crystals which were melting into the blonde locks that which covered his line of sight. The place was mostly deserted, with two men sitting at the opposite end of the bar and one or two others sitting alone at tables. This along with the howling wind outside, the small radio quietly playing on the other side of the bar, and the overall lack of excitement generated the still atmosphere that Naruto had come to know like an old friend. The bartender looked up at him expectantly from where he had been drying glasses with a small hand towel. Meeting his gaze, Naruto robotically replied to the bartender's stoic demeanor.

"Give me the usual," Naruto said to him before lowering his head, absently watching a drop of water fall from his hair down to the counter.

The bartender nodded with a light smile as he poured out two shots of whiskey and placed them in front of the blonde, who brought his head back up to find the shots sitting there, appealing to him like an invitation. The bartender went back to cleaning the glasses without a word.

The pungent burn of the drink barely registered in Naruto's throat when he threw back the first shot. His mind was empty and his body weary. For awhile now it seemed, he only knew how to do two things: drink and breathe. Hell, the blonde couldn't even recall how long ago he had started drinking this much. He just knew that it hadn't been _that_ long ago, but he could care less to keep dwelling on the subject. It's not like the 'when' mattered to him anyways.

 _Drink and breathe_ he thought to himself.

This pattern became second nature to Naruto, but he didn't mind it. Why would he? It was his solace, the solution to quell the pain of all that he had done...and all that could never be undone. Even the very distant wish that he could go back had been buried within in him for what seemed like an eternity.

A moment later, his phone vibrated on the bar. Picking it up, Naruto quickly unlocked the screen, not even sparing the thought of glancing at the image that presented itself on his phone's lock screen. A picture which he had never changed from a long-ago, happier time. Opening the text conversation, it read:

 **I'll be over in half an hour to pick you up. Be ready to go.**

Naruto stared at the message for a long moment with heavy-lidded eyes. Finally locking the phone again, he picked up the second shot of whiskey from the bar and threw it back, letting the viscous fluid slither down his throat. The burn was expressly more potent this time as he set the glass back down on the bar. Withdrawing the wallet from his back pocket, he recovered enough bills to both pay for the drinks and leave enough left over for the bartender to have a two dollar tip. Putting the money on the counter under the weight of the now empty shot glass, Naruto stood up, and once he was clad in his coat and gloves, he departed from the bar.

Naruto's apartment was sparsely furnished, but immaculately clean. Maintaining this status quo had come naturally to him; thanks to his aunt and uncle, he had learned to take care of himself as well as his belongings after his parents had passed away in a devastating car accident when he was just six years old.

But that's the thing about that age. It's one thing if you never knew your parents, but it's something else entirely if you could still remember small bits and pieces of them. Needless to say, it's because of this that Naruto thought about them often. He thought about them now, as he lay alone on his bed in the shadow of his bedroom window on this gray snowy day. In his quiet stupor, the only thing that seemed to be present to him was the ticking clock on the wall. It was as if the universe paused itself to revolve around the damn thing in this very moment. Tick, tock…continuing as it had every second of every day.

 _What would you think of me now?_ Naruto asked himself, hoping deep down that they could hear him. _What would you say to me?_

A moment later, his nightstand lit up from beneath his phone, which he had placed there when he returned from the bar. He shifted to his side and stared at it for a moment before picking it up. There was another text from the same person as before, signaling that it was time for the blonde to drag himself up. He grabbed his coat and pulled it on, buttoning it up over the black scarf, white shirt, and black tie that the blonde had dressed in that morning. Next, he tied his black leather shoes and pulled on this gloves before exiting his apartment, pulling the door shut and locking it behind him.

Outside Naruto's home in the parking lot, Shikamaru leaned against the driver-side door of his car, a matte black 2013 Audi S5. He was dressed remarkably similar to Naruto, but considering the circumstances it came as no surprise, really. When the door opened, he looked up from the charcoal gray pavement and watched as Naruto slowly descended the stone stairs of the apartment building, his eyes resting on the ground in front of him, paying absolutely no mind to the shirker's presence.

It wasn't until he reached the bottom of the stairs that Naruto finally looked up to meet the eyes of his friend, who was now advancing across the snowy parking lot. Upon reaching Naruto, they both stopped for a moment before Shikamaru pulled his hands from his coat pockets, capturing his friend in a warm embrace, which they held in silence for a few moments in the ambience of the falling snow.

Breaking the hug, Naruto looked into his taller friend's eyes, and nodded to him without a word. They both turned to walk back to the car, Shikamaru resting his hand on Naruto's back along the way.

Shikamaru drove out of the parking lot and onto the nearly deserted, snowy street. The ride was silent save for the low sound of the tires treading the snow beneath them and the windshield wipers incessantly going back and forth over the glass, scraping the ongoing snow from their view. After a few minutes had passed, Shikamaru looked to Naruto, who was preoccupied with blankly staring out the window at the snowy hills.

"It wasn't you," Shikamaru said tentatively but resolutely. "You know that."

Naruto appeared to not have heard his friend speak and continued to stare out the side window of the car. Shikamaru kept driving, keeping a single hand on the wheel of the sedan, every so often glancing over to his blonde friend.

"Naruto, you did what a lot of us couldn't," Shikamaru began again. "You saw what none of us could bear to see. You did the best you could."

At that, the blonde's attention was caught ever so briefly as he glanced over to Shikamaru, but only for a second before turning his eyes back to the window.

"No," he said softly. "No, I…I didn't, Shikamaru…"

He slumped back against the seat, saying nothing further.

Shikamaru resigned himself to saying nothing more for the time being. He obviously wouldn't be able to get through to him. Not yet. It was too soon and he knew that. That was the beauty of the friendship the two had, though. They could tell what the other was thinking, what he was feeling. With this philosophy, Shikamaru knew that for now, silence was what Naruto needed.

A short while later, they arrived at their destination: a large garden next to an old stone chapel where only chiseled stones seemed to grow among the frozen trees. The soft snow that had been falling early had changed to small pellets of ice, which were hitting the car as Shikamaru parked parallel to the side of the narrow street they were on. Naruto shifted his gaze across Shikamaru and out _his_ window, suddenly feeling a new wave of despair wash over him. This didn't go unnoticed by the shirker, however.

He looked to Naruto, whose gaze shot past Shikamaru's attempted eye contact.

"You ready?" Shikamaru tentatively asked the blonde who, at that, finally darted his eyes back to meet Shikamaru's. Shikamaru laid his hand on Naruto's shoulder, who in response once again looked away from his friend, centering his hollow eyes down toward his lap. Naruto just nodded to his friend in the driver seat, and without another glance, the two boys got out of the car and made their way into the snowbound garden where the bitter wind was waving the barren tree branches about. In one particular area, a small group of people were gathered around something the two couldn't yet see but was something they would never forget.

As they approached, Shikamaru kept monitoring Naruto like a big brother. To his unsung dismay, the blonde's face held both sorrow and fear, along with everything in between. He put his arm around Naruto, placing his hand on his shoulder to divert his focus for a moment.

Upon approaching the site, Naruto visibly trembled as he grew certain that the time he had dreaded for a lifetime had come. He looked to Shikamaru, who in turn reassured him with his comforting eyes.

"Remember," the other said. "I'm right here with you."

Hearing him, Naruto nodded to his friend, knowing that no matter what, he always knew exactly what he was feeling and exactly how to make him feel better, even if it was just a little. He appreciated it to no end. Right now, however, he couldn't think about that, which he knew Shikamaru would understand; he had something to do: it was time for him...to say goodbye.

They reached the small crowd of people and immediately recognized friends from long ago, friends recently made, and members of family alike. Everyone in the crowd held the same unified demeanor of despair and mourning.

Naruto found himself walking straight into the crowd as if on autopilot, sensing the comforting stares of everyone he knew digging into him from all directions like a thousand spears. He paid no mind to it as he greeted a few of them with hugs and tears.

When it came time to line up, Naruto braced himself for a moment which he would never forget. Shikamaru was beside him the whole way. Together, they selected a rose, and joined the rest of the line to march slowly and agonizingly in perfect synchronization. When it came time for them to go next, Shikamaru put his arm around Naruto once again, and walked up with him as per the blonde's request. He felt Naruto's entire body slightly heave a few times as they walked, his legs trembling, and finally, his hands firmly grasping the freshly-picked rose which glistened with the light coating of ice that had accumulated on its petals.

When they arrived at the slight incline created by a small mound covered in tarp which surrounded the pit that had been dug in front of them, the two paused, feeling the icy wind in their hair and the sorrowful gaze of the entire crowd silently among them.

Without hesitation or warning, Naruto quietly fell to his knees, not even flinching at the contact with the cold snow, ice, and water that raced through the thin fabric of his black slacks. Wiping with his sleeve the bitter tears that now cruelly stung his face, Naruto shakily kissed the rose in his hand, and laid it on top of the pile of other flowers that adorned the casket in front of him, just below a gold plate which had been engraved:

 _Sasuke Uchiha_

 _Loving Brother,_

 _Beloved Friend_.

Upon seeing the plate, there was barely any will left inside Naruto to keep his composure. He stood up, Shikamaru giving him the space he needed. Naruto couldn't remember the last time he felt anything at all, but now…he began to break down. Silently weeping, he squeezed his eyes shut and let the tears fall into the snow at his feet.

A moment later, Itachi emerged from the front of the crowd, approaching Naruto, which the blonde noticed through his tears. He turned slowly to face his best friend's brother, who gazed down at Naruto with comfort and grief in his eyes.

"Thank you for coming," Itachi said.

Feeling more vulnerable than he ever had in his entire life, Naruto opened his eyes, feeling them become cold as he stood, weeping, to face Sasuke's brother. Failing to stop his tears, Naruto reached his breaking point as he surrendered himself, falling into Itachi's arms.

Shikamaru looked upon them and maintained his stoic composure, save for a tear which escaped his eye and trickled down his face, which he made sure to wipe away. He heard Naruto struggling to speak through the sobs which were barely audible from his face which was buried in Itachi's clothing.

"I'm so sorry Itachi...I-I'm so sorry." Naruto whimpered and sobbed heavily through Itachi's clothing. He in turn put his hand on the back of Naruto's head, supporting him as he himself let tears fall.

Itachi embraced him in front of everybody for a good minute as the others began departing the burial site one by one, giving the three of them time to privately say goodbye.

As the two moved apart from their hug, Naruto noticed through his clouded, watery vision someone else coming toward them from about twenty yards off in the distance. Naruto's sorrow slowly shifted to blind hatred as he realized who it was. Noticing this, Itachi glanced over to see what he was looking at. At that moment, he saw his former friend, Kisame, tentatively approaching them through the snow.

Now it was Itachi's turn to have his grief surmounted by pure rage as he quickly marched away, holding a straight face to meet Kisame, not wanting him anywhere near his fallen brother. Realizing what was taking place, Shikamaru quickly left Naruto's side to run after Itachi.

Across the frozen ground, Itachi quickly came within a few feet of Kisame, who looked up at him.

"Itachi, I'm s—." he began but was cut short.

Kisame had been expecting to not be welcomed by Itachi, but he was completely unprepared for the fist that smashed into his jaw, knocking him backwards against his car. A small gasp slipped from Naruto's throat as he witnessed the scene. A second later, Shikamaru had finally caught up to Itachi and grabbed his arm before he could harm Kisame any further.

"Itachi! Stop! This _won't_ bring your brother back!" he yelled sternly.

Itachi closed his eyes to regain his focus and calm himself. He opened them a moment later to hear Kisame speak.

"Itachi, please…" he said.

"Go." Itachi commanded. " _Now_."

Kisame stood, intending to speak again, but Itachi spoke first, not wanting to hear the other's voice again.

" _YOU_ ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!" he screamed. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

Kisame quickly gave up, too frightened to pursue the conversation any further. He complied, getting back into his car and driving off. As he left, Itachi stood, watching the car go off into the distance. He pulled his arm from Shikamaru's grasp and went wordlessly back to Sasuke's grave, depleted of all the energy he had. Resting his head against his brother's casket, he wept.

"Come back to me, please," he sobbed. "Sasuke, please….I need you..."

Naruto spent some more time with Itachi before returning to Shikamaru, who was now waiting within the car, letting it warm up. As they left, the drive was even quieter between the two than before. As darkness quickly fell, the hail had subsided, soft snow returning once again and beginning to gracefully cover everything in sight as it fell from the black skies above.

"I need a fucking drink," Naruto said, turning to Shikamaru from his spot in the passenger seat of the sedan.

Shikamaru, who was in silent agreement with Naruto's statement, looked over to him for a moment before returning his eyes to the road. He flipped on his turn signal to make a right, and in a few minutes time, they pulled up to that same bar which stood along a lonely road, covered in white.

 _To Be Continued…_


	2. To Sasuke

**A/N – Hey everybody! Blackbird here, just wanna let you know that you should listen to this epic piano piece on repeat when reading this; it gave me so many chills when writing this chapter, it fit so perfectly that it scared me a little bit!**

 **It's called "Some" by Nils Frahm. Look it up!**

 **Anyways, MugenDemon and I hope you enjoy this next chapter of Once Upon a Rose of Ice :)**

* * *

 _ **To Sasuke**_

Over the sloped landscape upon which night had finally fallen, snow continued to drift down from dark skies. Slowly, softly, and peacefully it fell, accumulating further the snowbanks which time had created. Past the slate of dull white which colored the darkened snow on the ground, the snow which now fell was visible only under the harsh illumination of a few surrounding street lamps, their light projecting downward onto the few parking spaces which sat in front of the cozy, humble bar. The little wooden building's warm lights pulsed lightly like candlelight, shining through its worn windows and onto the snow adorning the ground outside. All was quiet, and soft winds breezed through the icy night air when they felt like it, making everything they graced just a little bit colder.

Save for a few cars that sat quietly in the scarce space that was provided for parking, the bar was all but deserted at this hour, just past twilight. Shikamaru pulled his Audi off of the icy road, inserting himself into one of the narrow parking spaces in front of the little tavern. The soft, delicate glow emanating from the establishment's front windows appeared warm and inviting as the two boys unbuckled themselves from the leather seats of the sedan. Shutting the car door behind him, Shikamaru looked over to observe Naruto emerging from the vehicle as well, pulling the collar of his fitted pea coat up to shield him from the winds which lightly danced through his hair. The shirker wondered to himself why his blonde friend would even bother with his coat; they would momentarily be inside, so why get comfortable?

 _He must just be that cold, I guess._ Shikamaru shrugged as he made his way to the front door of the bar, Naruto in toe. Pulling it out toward himself, Shikamaru made sure to leave room for Naruto to go through first.

Walking inside, Naruto glanced at the three or four individuals sitting amongst the tables as Shikamaru closed the rickety door behind him. The blonde recognized a few of the faces around them from his frequent visits to the very same bar. They, on the other hand, barely seemed to register that another presence entered the room. Preoccupied with their own drinking, they sat solemnly among the tables on the floor in front of the bar counter.

Shikamaru turned from the door, taking a look around the place. He began absorbing the warm atmosphere of the bar itself for the first time: the dim, lowered lights over the tables, the comfort of the fireplace which sat to the east wall of the building in a cozy den area with worn leather chairs, and the music which played softly from the radio behind the bar counter. In contrast, however, the empty and soulless expressions of the patrons inhabiting the space around them didn't go unnoticed by the boy for too long.

 _How ironic…_ he thought to himself as he pulled off his gloves, following Naruto to the bar counter. Placing his gloves onto the weathered wood which stood in front of him, Shikamaru paused for a moment.

 _This place feels just like home, and yet…everyone here looks like they've been at rock bottom for years._

Taking off his coat, he looked toward Naruto, sensing a frighteningly similar aura emanating from him as well. He sat down next to his friend, looking over to the bartender. Getting the man's attention, Shikamaru ordered a vodka tonic. Plain, but what he wanted; what he was used to. A moment later, the drink was placed before him on the bar. He waited patiently, expecting to hear Naruto speak his order as well. Instead, two whiskey shots were suddenly set down in front of the blonde without him having to utter a single word. It came as a surprise to Shikamaru, but he didn't pay his faint curiosity much mind.

Naruto, as if programmed to do so, immediately lifted the first shot up and was about to toss it to the back of his throat when suddenly, his arm was brought back down by Shikamaru's gentle hand. He rested it on his friend's forearm, causing the blonde to look over at him from the corner of his eye.

"Wait," he said, watching Naruto, who was waiting to see why it was that he had been stopped from taking the shot.

"To Sasuke," Shikamaru said solemnly as he raised his own glass toward Naruto, expecting the blonde to take part in the toast.

Naruto turned his head slightly to look at his friend's risen glass for a moment before giving him a hollow nod. Looking back at the shot in his own hand, Naruto absently raised the glass half-assedly into the air before throwing it back and swallowing.

Shikamaru observed the blonde drinking for a moment before he went ahead with the full intention of taking a hard, long draught of his own drink. Instead, he found himself unable to move as he paused for a moment, all at once absorbing the somber emotions that came with the day. In remembrance, Shikamaru instead began to merely sip at the drink in his hand, finding himself falling deep into thought. Naruto slammed back the second shot immediately after the first as Shikamaru looked over wearily.

"I'm so proud of you, Naruto," Shikamaru said a few minutes later, abstaining from the eye contact that was attempted by his blond friend in response to his words.

"You were strong today. I will never forget that." Shikamaru finished, taking another sip of his tonic. Naruto kept his gaze on his friend, a shade of doubt and guilt slowly starting to surface on his face before answering.

"Thanks, Shikamaru." The blonde replied with his unfaltering, empty tone of voice as he shifted his gaze back to the empty shots in front of him.

"Don't mention it," the shirker replied, finally looking over to his blonde friend to find him absently playing around with the empty shot glass on the counter.

"I know it's hard right now…and you'll never know how much I wish that I could just…make it all go away for you. But you know that I can't do that." Shikamaru said, acquiring Naruto's half-lidded, weary gaze as the blonde looked back to him.

"Naruto, I'm here. Anytime you need me." He finished sincerely, feeling a tiny speck of hope come from Naruto in response. It wasn't much by any means, but it was still there…and that's all that Shikamaru needed to see.

After a moment, Naruto broke their eye contact to signal the bartender, who proceeded to place two more shots before him. The blonde then consumed them in rapid succession. Putting the second empty shot glass onto the scratched counter in front of him, Naruto began moving it around on the surface of the wood, in small circles.

"I appreciate that, Shikamaru" he replied quietly, eyes disinterestedly focused on the glass moving beneath his fingertips. He meant it sincerely, he really did. Naruto was just so drained of all emotion and so deprived of energy that communicating his gratitude seemed like a nearly impossible task at that moment. Instead, he simply signaled the bartender for two more shots, to Shikamaru's disbelief. After receiving them, he quickly picked one up and threw it back.

"Don't you think you've had enough, Naruto," Shikamaru said, looking to the unresponsive blonde, sensing the alcoholic warpath that he had apparently embarked upon.

In reply, Naruto simply glared back at him in false consideration of the question for a moment before slowly and deliberately taking his sixth shot of the night, keeping his eyes leveled with Shikamaru's the entire time. Shikamaru, unfazed by the obvious provoking he was receiving, maintained the intense eye contact with his friend as he felt the ghost of a scorn slowly creep across his own immobile face. At that, Naruto began to raise his arm again to the bartender, but Shikamaru was too quick for him. The shirker grabbed Naruto's arm, snapping it back down to the wooden surface of the counter without hesitation. Angered, but equally caught off guard by his friend's quick reflexes, Naruto could only glare at him contemptuously, his spiked breathing slowly returning to normal.

"You're done," Shikamaru lowly commanded, looking away from the blonde to scan the rest of the room to ensure that they hadn't caused too big of a scene, which they appeared to have not.

Naruto yanked his arm out from the other's unsuspecting grip, dropping his angered gaze as he suddenly lost all interest in drinking. For a moment, everything around him became dark with the shadow of regret. He only wanted to be still…still and unmoving, aimlessly floating away into the infinite beyond to find the answers to all of the questions which plagued him relentlessly; answers that would never be found.

Shikamaru warily softened his demeanor, sensing his friend's submissive change in aura. Stretching his arm around his friend, he gently lowered his head to Naruto's level, nearly touching the bar in the process.

"Naruto…I loved him too." Shikamaru spoke in a whisper, feeling the other's body flinch ever so slightly at his words. "Naruto, it's ok to feel…"

"Ok?" the blonde interrupted quietly, his once blue eyes now ridden with gray opening as he looked to meet his friend's concerned gaze. "How am I ever supposed to feel ok again…I'm the one that killed my best friend."

Shikamaru eased off of Naruto in response, still lending the support of his hand which rested around his shoulders. He took a moment to create some space between himself and Naruto, giving him the respectable breathing room he felt he needed right now.

"Naruto," he began, "you need to listen to me, and be clear on one thing. You did _not_ kill him...What Sasuke did had nothing to do with you."

"Didn't it?" he replied flatly keeping himself focused on the wood grain of the bar's flat surface. "I left him there, Shikamaru," he said before looking back at his friend. "I abandoned him when he…he needed me...And now he's gone."

"It pains me to no end to say it, but the path Sasuke was on, he could've seen Death coming from less than a mile off," Shikamaru stated. "There was nothing that you could have done."

"Nothing I…could have done?" the blonde stated incredulously, deliberately spacing out the words. As a slight fire rose up in his eyes, he quietly growled, "I could have kept my _promise_ , Shikamaru. I could have stayed by his side no matter what, like I _told_ him I…"

The blonde broke off, not wishing to continue the conversation any further. Shikamaru kept his understanding eyes leveled to Naruto's throughout the entire outburst. If there was one thing he could do for Naruto now, it was to hear what he wanted to say, to give him someone to talk to. To listen. Naruto took a deep breath before speaking again.

"I…I think I'm ready to go now," he said dolefully. "I have class in the morning tomorrow."

"Yeah, I do too," Shikamaru said as they stood up to put their coats back on, leaving money on the bar for payment before they donned the rest of their outdoor attire.

Once more they faced the cold together, walking toward the car which Shikamaru unlocked with its electronic key. The engine rumbled to life a moment later, breaking the stillness of the night as they drove off toward town, and toward the end of that heartbreaking day.

"I'm going to visit Itachi tomorrow," Shikamaru said, looking toward the snow-covered road upon which they traveled. "You're welcome to come with me."

Naruto pretended to mull over the idea, concealing his true desire which was to distance himself from Itachi. The guilt was just too much for him to handle right now. "Not tomorrow, Shikamaru. I can't."

"Ok," Shikamaru replied, "but if you change your mind, feel free to let me know."

The shirker knew that he was unlikely to get any further with Naruto that night. It had been a far too long and far too stressful day. He pulled up to his friend's apartment building, which was dark from the inside out, letting the car idle as they prepared to part ways for the evening.

"Shikamaru," Naruto said suddenly, delivering a soft gaze toward his friend. "I haven't thanked you for today, for being with me."

After a moment, Shikamaru spoke.

"Naruto, I would never let you go through this alone," he replied with a friendly heart, resting his hand on his Naruto's arm. "We're both hurting, I know…but we'll figure it out. We always do, you know that."

Naruto sat absolutely still as he took in Shikamaru's words, feeling them plant themselves deep into his soul.

"Yeah," the blonde said, breathing discontentedly and averting his eyes as he went to click the car door latch toward himself, opening the door and stepping out.

"Naruto," Shikamaru said suddenly, getting out of the car as well and walking around it toward the blonde, observing how the snow was falling to rest on his scarf, coat, and long golden hair. Finding himself suddenly being pulled into the loving embrace of his friend, Naruto felt warmer than he had in a long time. For a moment they stood, quietly existing in the blistering winter cold.

"Remember," Shikamaru said, pulling back to look into Naruto's dull blue eyes and pale face. "Sasuke will always be with you."

Naruto slowly squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before nodding to his friend with hard-pursed lips.

"Thank you, Shikamaru," he said sadly, but Shikamaru could sense the blonde's masked gratitude.

"Sure," he replied, his gloved hand still resting on Naruto's shoulder. "Hey, I'll see you tomorrow…and let me know if you change your mind about visiting Itachi."

"Ok," the blonde replied, recalling that he was already fully aware of his final decision.

"Goodnight, Shikamaru."

"Goodnight, Naruto," the shirker replied before walking back to the driver-side door of the car as Naruto watched from the darkened concrete steps to his apartment. He felt the wind blow through his hair, and his eyes remained unwavering as he watched his friend drive off into the night.

* * *

Itachi slowly climbed the seemingly boundless and bare concrete steps to the front door which he had sought so much to avoid laying his eyes upon over the past several days. Agonizingly slowly he approached the doorway as if it were a tomb. Feeling searing apprehension rip through his heart, he stood timidly, wondering if he was really ready to handle what he set out to do.

He took a deep breath to steady himself as he pulled two cold, silver keys from the inner pocket of his overcoat. Inserting the smaller of the two keys into the lock on the steel-barred screen door, he turned it, feeling the latch give way. Pulling it open revealed the second barrier which stood behind it: a heavier, navy blue-colored wooden door that he remembered seeing a few times before. With a sigh, Itachi placed the larger key into this second lock and paused, his fingers gripping the key tightly, not wanting to let go, yet at the same time not wanting to make the necessary motion to activate the mechanism of the lock. Gathering the will to do so, he suddenly and violently jerked the key to the right quickly, hearing the lock disengage. Pushing the door open, he heard the creak of its rusted hinges echo throughout the dark, silent room which lay beyond as he entered.

Itachi pushed the door shut, locking it again, and proceeded to lean back against it, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness within. Next, he heard the wind pick up, rattling the screen door. For a split second, he could swear that he felt someone pulling it open behind him. Realizing it was only the wind, he breathed again, inhaling air which felt stale and heavy. Finding himself unable to move for a moment, he remembered something a friend told him, long ago.

 _Sometimes the dead come back to where they last were, if they're unresolved_.

A shudder passed through him as he stepped forward, expending what courage he had gathered over time to do so. Hearing his heavy footsteps tap against the dark hardwood floor, Itachi reached one of the end tables that sat on either end of the expansive, black leather couch. Switching on the lamp that was placed atop it, the room became suddenly bathed in the hollow light given by the dusty incandescent bulb. Itachi slowly removed his overcoat and laid it on the couch beside him. He looked around the room to get his bearings, trying to remember the last time he had been there.

The room resembled his brother exactly, he thought. The furnishing was modern, made from light wood and metal, with black upholstery. There was a built-in floor-to-ceiling bookcase on one wall that was occupied with books, photographs, and little personal items and trinkets, which Itachi noticed reflected the owner's personality perfectly, holding their own separate memories.

A smile crossed Itachi's face as he noticed a Pokémon figurine on one of the shelves…it was Sasuke's favorite toy when he was a child. He walked over to the bookcase and lifted the figurine from its resting place, examining it for a moment with a light, dry smile before placing it back on the shelf. A photograph lower on the bookcase caught his eye next. It showed himself and Sasuke, captured in film moments after they had received matching Christmas presents: plastic ninja swords. He picked it up for a closer look.

 _I must have been twelve then_ he thought to himself, _and Sasuke would have been seven._

 _Hm,_ he paused, _Neither of us had any care in the world back then…we had so much fun re-enacting epic fights together in the yard, endlessly dueling and defeating each other. Sometimes I let him win on purpose…_

Staring at it for a moment longer, Itachi put the photograph back from where he had taken it from. He turned to look across the room, and immediately he noticed another photograph, hanging on the wall. It depicted his brother with Naruto. Walking across the room toward it, he stopped to look upon it for a while, bags beginning to grow under his eyes.

 _Naruto..._ he continued thinking, _you got one of the swords too after we had ours, didn't you? That's right…Then it was two against one, and I actually had to work to win that time._

The photograph showed Sasuke and Naruto at their high school graduation, clad in their graduation gowns. Itachi smiled as he recalled the memory, looking at the picture he took back then. It felt like a lifetime ago since they looked so unbearably happy. Their arms were around each other's shoulders, both wearing huge smiles, their hair messed up and sticking out in all different directions from the caps they had thrown up in the air only minutes before the photograph had been taken. They seemed so ecstatic to be going into the future…and going into it together.

Momentarily overcome, Itachi looked away from the photograph, squeezing his eyes shut for a time before slowly opening them again to look down upon the floor on which he stood.

"I'm glad he knew you, Naruto" he whispered to himself among the empty dwelling, turning back to the photo to observe Naruto's grin again for a moment.

Regaining his composure, he ventured deeper into this brother's intimate world, specifically into the bedroom where the large double bed stood against the wall, still unmade, as its owner had last left it. He slowly looked around the room from where he stood just inside the doorway. The light from the lamp in the previous chamber didn't reach in here, and the moonlight was streaming in through the half tilted blinds, making a pattern upon the wood floor that resembled the moving tree branches just outside. This very same moonlight now shone down half-way over Itachi's emotionless face.

As his eyes adjusted again, he could discern more details: his brother's clothes strewn about on the floor, a pair of casual shoes cast aside next to his nightstand, and his desk which was a disaster. A sweater was lying on the floor at his feet and he picked it up, feeling the softness of the fibers; it was well worn. Immediately, the smell of Sasuke's cologne reached his nose and he felt faint, promptly dropping the sweater back to the floor. Then he noticed something half hidden beneath one of the pillows on his brother's bed.

Itachi felt the silence around him like a chasm at that moment, barely breathing himself, even. He felt so lonely…and so cold.

Finally walking slowly across the small room, he took the object into his hand and it felt strangely warm. He sat down on the edge of the bed to examine it. It was a leather bound handbook. He opened it at random, finding it to be Sasuke's journal. Feeling guilty from looking upon the words which he had yet to read, he felt unable to tear his eyes from the simple handwriting he immediately recognized as his brother's. With a heavy, tentative heart which in this moment felt a tinge of fear and sorrow, Itachi began to read.

 _June 2 - I feel like I'm being left out. I know Itachi is so busy with work, but fuck, I would give anything to just hang out with him for a weekend again, like we used to when he was in high school and I was in middle school, playing video games, watching movies, eating junk….just being together with him. I'm probably a burden to him…I don't blame him, but I just feel lonely. Fuck…my head is hurting so much right now…_

Itachi cringed as he suddenly couldn't read anymore and made to close the book. Shortly after, a strange temptation and curiosity compelled him to open it again. The book opened to another random entry.

 _November 10 – I've never felt so empty. I hurt all the time, even with it, I can still feel the hurt…sometimes it makes me physically sick, but no one understands. No one will stay with me, I'm so scared and so alone. I can't trust anyone I know, and they won't try to understand. I can't do this anymore on my own. I need someone. I'm so tired of hurting all the time. I don't know, something is going to break in me, I can't do it…_

Itachi continued to read, each sentence twisting a wretched dagger further and further through his heart as tears freely streamed down his face. Then…he read one more sentence in that entry...the last sentence, which made his trembling eyes widen to a point he never thought they could physically reach.

 _Sasuke…you…_ his brother thought, trembling as a million things suddenly raced through his mind.

Overcome and compromised, Itachi slammed the book shut, his will and soul blinded, completely lost to the void. He stood up and went blindly to the desk, wildly swinging his arm to clear the surface of debris as if he were possessed. The sound of it all falling to the floor was like a bomb going off in the silence. He sat down at the desk, pulling a sheet of Sasuke's writing paper from an open box; good, manly, gray paper. The click of a pen was heard as Itachi began frantically, desperately writing, harshly scribbling words down as thick tears spilled over onto the ink of the page. He continued for several minutes, time over which he finally regained his calm. He folded the paper into thirds, and placed it inside a matching envelope. He sealed the envelope and turned it over, writing simply on its front:

 _To Sasuke_.

* * *

On the other side of town, Naruto lay awake on his bed, still in the clothes he had worn throughout the day. The moonlight shined gently into his eyes, tinting them a dull white as he lay as still and as quiet as the night, neither thinking nor dreaming as his mind drifted once more toward the darkness which he came to call home.

* * *

 **A/N – To all of you who have read, followed, favorited, or reviewed this story so far, MugenDemon and myself would like to thank all of you for your support of the story**

 **We're off to do more writing, so expect new chapters weekly! Well, hopefully anyways ;) We have so much more in store for this story that we can't wait to share, so make sure you follow it, and since we reply to everybody, reach out with a review!**

 **Thanks again everybody!**

 **Seeya next time,**

 **Blackbird**


	3. The End of the World

_**The End of the World**_

* * *

Shikamaru sat at the small kitchen table in his apartment, the light of the sun illuminating through the dense clouds outside and into the room, giving it a slight white tint. There he rested, leaned back against his chair and idly thumbing through yesterday's newspaper as he sipped his black coffee from the same aged mug which he had been using for years. It was approaching mid-day now, as the sun had told him by the shadows which its shrouded light cast through the windows and over his furniture. The shirker's early-morning class had ended an hour or so ago, and he had decided to come home and collect himself in the serenity of his home before leaving to visit Itachi.

The day proved to be cold and ominous. The heavy, lead-gray clouds seemed to be pressing down from the heavens shrouding the landscape below as the sun fought to brighten the earth from behind them. Once again bringing the mug to his lips, Shikamaru tasted the bitterness of the unadulterated coffee as his mind drifted from the words on the page in front of him. Shortly afterward, his sense of duty compelled him to get up from the chair, throw the rest of the coffee down his throat and grab his coat and keys as he journeyed out into the inhospitable atmosphere outside. The time had come for him to do what he had resolved to do the night before.

Itachi needed all the support in the world right now, and Shikamaru intended to be there to offer it. He only wished that Naruto had changed his mind and was coming with him, but he remained adamant in shutting himself away from the idea.

 _Maybe it really was too soon for him_ he thought to himself as he walked across the parking lot to his black Audi, a light dusting of powdery light snow covering it. Shikamaru removed a gloved hand from his pea coat pocket to reveal an electronic keypad which he snapped in the direction of the car, pressing the unlock button to see his hazards flash twice.

 _Naruto needs to face this though. Just avoiding his problems never does him any good, and I have a feeling that he knows it._

The shirker sat down in the driver's seat, falling into its firm black leather as he reached a hand out to start the engine from the button on the dashboard. The sedan came to life instantly with a light shudder, and Shikamaru felt cold air shoot from the vents toward his legs, freezing them for a short while before eventually switching to warm, heating the car. Putting it in gear, he pulled out of the parking space slowly before exiting the complex and driving across town.

A little while later, he reached his destination, elegantly inserting himself into the parallel parking space on the street. Getting out of his vehicle, Shikamaru shut the door and crossed over the road toward the opposite sidewalk as he clicked the lock button on his keypad, not looking back as he heard the car chime, signaling that it was locked. He made his way up the short flight of gray granite steps that led up to Itachi's town house, his gloved finger reaching out and depressing the glowing doorbell button when he reached the front door.

A few moments later after patiently waiting for a bit, Shikamaru was rewarded with the sound of the latch clicking back, the door slowly swinging open. In the doorway to his home, Itachi stood before the shirker with red-rimmed eyes, an unshaven face, and unparalleled exhaustion.

"May I enter?" Shikamaru asked lightly, looking at Itachi's tired expression.

"Yes, I'm sorry," Itachi quickly murmured after being woken from his absent daze as he turned to walk back inside, leading the way. "Please, come in Shikamaru."

The boy walked inside before Itachi took his coat, hanging it in the entrance closet. After doing so, the Uchiha turned back to his brother's friend, swiveling his head away from the shirker and tilting it sideways as he found himself casting his eyes downward.

Observing him in silence for a moment, Shikamaru stepped over to him and put his arms around him, embracing him heartily. "I'm sorry, Itachi," he said.

"Th-thank you, Shikamaru," Itachi stammered, wiping his face as he pulled back from the long hug. "I wasn't expecting you; I'm glad you came. Really, thank you."

"I'll be here whenever you need me," Shikamaru nodded, answering softly.

"Would you join me for some tea?" Itachi asked, a hollow and weary smile appearing on his face. "It should be nearly done steeping now."

He led Shikamaru down the hall and into the kitchen at the back of the town house. Itachi's home was elegantly designed, complete with black marble counters, stainless steel appliances, and custom, dark wood cabinetry. On the countertop next to the stove, a porcelain Le Cruset teapot sat with a thin trail of steam coming from the spout.

Shikamaru sat down at the dining table that was made from the same dark wood as the cabinets and was inlaid in the center with a pattern of tiles. Itachi placed two teacups on the table, one at the head and one at the adjacent place setting before he brought over the tea pot, pouring some into each cup.

"I know it's not easy, Itachi," Shikamaru began as he watched the hot liquid stream into the delicate cup in front of where he sat. "If there is anything I can do—"

"Just you being here helps," Itachi said instantly in response to his words. Shikamaru paused for another moment as he watched Itachi finish pouring their teas and finally sit down to join him, taking a cautious sip of the hot liquid.

"If it will help, I'll go with you to the apartment," Shikamaru suggested after another short while.

"No, I went last night," Itachi said. "You must understand. I appreciate your offer, Shikamaru, but I needed to go alone. At least that first time."

"You were okay then?"

"No, not really," Itachi's voice broke for a slight second before be regained control of himself. "It was all there…everything…just as he had left it."

Shikamaru gazed across the table, his brow furrowing in deepest sympathy. He hated the feeling of helplessness that occupied his mind at that moment.

"I was in his room, and I…I found his journal; it was underneath his pillow," Itachi continued as Shikamaru brought his stoic gaze up from the unmoving water in his teacup. "Whether it was right or wrong, I couldn't stop myself from reading it, Shikamaru."

"Itachi…"

"It was…bad. I could feel him…his hurt, his guilt…everything, as I read every word. It was _unbearable_."

"Itachi, don't…"

"No." his voice suddenly became strong, clear, and resolute as Shikamaru eased off a bit to give him some space to calm down.

"There's something you need to know," Itachi said lowly as he looked to meet Shikamaru's eyes. "Then I must ask something of you."

* * *

At the same time, across town at the Cosmo-Demonic Coal-Burning University of North America, Naruto sat forlornly inside Errol Hall, in his Psychology 101 class next to his childhood friend, Hinata. Every so often she would glance over at the blonde during the presentation, concern etched upon her face.

The lecture had felt like it had been dragging on for years instead of the actual seventy-five minutes of the class period. There now was only a few minutes remaining, and Naruto continued to absently look over to the clock for what must have been the hundredth time. He came into school this morning with the full intention of attempting to focus on his classes, but right now, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He was still out-of-sorts from the stress of the previous day's events, and he hadn't slept well again. The blonde sighed and looked back toward the instructor, who was finishing up with closing remarks before he formally dismissed the class.

At the conclusion of the professor's speech, Naruto robotically stood up, grabbing his backpack from its resting place next to the desk where he had been sitting at. Without thinking, the blonde slowly made for the door, starting to leave the room.

"Hey," Hinata called after him, her gray eyes flashing with concern for her friend. "Leaving without saying goodbye?"

Naruto stopped in his tracks, turning around tiredly embarrassed.

"I-I'm sorry," he said. "It's just…my mind is someplace else."

"I know," she whispered, offering a comforting smile as she reached out, placing her hand on his forearm. "You did hear the instructor say we have a test next week, right? Why don't we plan to study this weekend?"

"Wait, what?" Naruto looked at her blankly, honestly unable to recall the professor saying anything even remotely like that. "Thanks…I guess I just really am someplace else today."

Hinata looked upon him for another moment, observing his tired face, his dreary complexion, his dull eyes.

"Naruto, would you come to lunch with me?" Hinata suggested in a comforting, friendly manner.

"I don't know, Hinata…" He said as he looked back down at the table in front of him.

He felt her hand slightly squeeze on his arm at that, and he shifted his gaze back to meet her's.

"Please," she said softly. "I would love if you came with me. How long has it been?"

"Okay, Hinata. I'll go," he relented after thinking for a moment. He really did have no idea how long it had been since the last time he and Hinata hung out. I guess the thought of it slipped his mind; understanding due to the events of recent months.

"Let's go to Chen Lee's," she said, a smile brightening her face. "It's close to campus and it's so good."

"All right," the blonde admitted, looking back to Hinata. He'd been there a few times before. "That does sound pretty good."

The two friends then exited through the side door of the building and began walking across campus, instinctively taking the route that would have them going through a string of buildings in order to avoid going out in the cold as much as humanly possible. Soon, they came to the edge of the campus, which was bordered by one of the town's main thoroughfares. They stopped at the light, waiting for the crosswalk signal to change.

"It's the point of no return," Naruto said, looking down to Hinata, who stood next to him as they waited. "No more buildings to go through for the next two blocks. You going to be ok?"

"We'll make it," Hinata said with a smile as the signal changed. The two of them darted across the road, beginning to walk briskly down the sidewalk after they crossed.

Chen Lee's Garden was the full name of the restaurant that Hinata and Naruto were going to for lunch. It was a tiny place tucked away snuggly at one end of a strip mall, and inside, there were only about ten booths in the entire restaurant. The place was run by a very short Oriental lady named Ming Lee, and she wore a large number of jade bangles on both her arms which rattled when she moved. To top it all off, it was the only Chinese restaurant in town that still made their own egg rolls instead of buying them frozen.

Hinata lead the way as the two went to the counter at the back and placed their orders with Ming before paying her the charge.

"OK, go find table and I bring out when is ready," she said waving them away with the pad of paper she would use to write down orders on.

Hinata lead her friend over to a booth by the window and took her coat off, laying it down on the bench seat. She then sat down and looked across the table toward Naruto, who still looked hopelessly distracted by something.

"Naruto," she began. "Are you all right? I'm so worried about you."

"I'm all right," the blonde said, his head shooting up to look at her. "I just need to sort things out."

Hinata took hold of Naruto's cold hands in her own, resting them in the middle of the table without a word. Naruto's eyes fell to their hands, and he closed them half-way as he pondered to himself for a moment.

"Yesterday was so hard, Hinata. It took so much out of me," Naruto said lowly, never bringing his eyes back to meet those of his friend. "He should still be here with us…"

"I know," she answered, gently thumbing the top of Naruto's hand in circles. "None of us choose when, Naruto."

Naruto looked back at her for a moment, then turned to look out the window, his hands slowly sliding out from underneath Hinata's. His eyes followed a trailing wisp of snow that the wind had whipped up outside. "I could have done something, Hinata."

"None of us could have done more than we did," she replied. "None of us wanted this to happen…but it did…"

Naruto's face twitched lightly for a split second as he listened to what Hinata had to say.

"Everyone comes into our lives for a purpose, Naruto" she continued as he glanced at her from his position of looking out the window. "We don't know how long they'll be there, so we just need to enjoy every minute that we have with them…while they're here."

Naruto lightly bit his thumb as his eyes gradually became crestfallen as he looked upon the snow on the ground outside, deep in thought.

"The best part about living your life, though," Hinata went on, "Is that every day, someone new can show up when you least expect it."

Naruto continued looking out the window as he heard Hinata speak to him. He was frankly tired of everyone telling him that everything was gonna be ok and that he couldn't have done more. They all meant well, the blonde knew that. So he just held his tongue and let them talk. He also knew though, that he was to blame for this. Nothing anyone could say would ever change that.

Ming came out and brought their food to the table shortly after their conversation, reminding them to enjoy before she departed the table, making her way back toward the counter.

"Well then, shall we?" Hinata said, watching Naruto pause before he turned back toward the table to eat.

* * *

Shikamaru couldn't shake the stunned look on his face and the revelation that struck his soul as he exited Itachi's townhouse with haste, clutching the black leather journal securely to his chest with both arms as he breathed, paying no mind to the exhalations which became visible in the cold. He crossed the street to his car, unlocking it before throwing the driver-side door open. Journal under his arm, he got inside the car behind the wheel, snapping the door shut behind him. He breathed inside the cold interior of the sedan, still clutching the fateful item to his chest. He removed his glove and ran his hand over his face, pausing to rest his forehead on his hand a minute.

He hadn't yet fully come to terms with what he had just been told, and then had actually read in Sasuke's unmistakable handwriting.

"Please," Itachi had said plaintively. "Will you give it to him? When the time is right?"

Shikamaru had accepted the burden offered to him stoically, knowing that it was the right thing to do. For both his fallen friend, and for his friend who still stood.

He took another deep breath, letting it out slowly as he attempted to focus his mind. He started the engine of the car, pulled out from the parking space, and drove off into the gray afternoon, Sasuke's journal resting on the passenger seat next to him.

* * *

Naruto pulled the rickety door to the bar open, stepping inside. Nighttime was rapidly descending over the small town, and he was eager to be back inside, out of the biting chill that the wind threw at him. As he made his way passed the tables and toward the counter at the back once again, he found himself for some reason slightly more at ease than he had the rest of the day. He glanced around at the tables, seeing the usual faces, and surprisingly, a couple new ones as well. He quietly took his seat at the bar, waiting for his usual two shots to be delivered to him. It wasn't long until he recognized the Skeeter Davis song playing on the radio.

 _Why do the birds…go on singing…_

 _Why do the stars glow above…_

 _Don't they know…it's the end of the world…_

 _It ended when I lost…your love._

He listened in silence with half lidded eyes, and after several minutes which he hadn't even realized had gone by, he heard a voice call to him: "Did you just come in because our stools are comfy?"

Puzzled and tired, he looked up toward the source of the voice to see a young man drying a few glasses at the other end of the bar. By the looks of him, he was probably about his own age, with brown messy hair which fell partially over his eyes which held the same color. He had two odd fang-shaped tattoos, one on each cheek. He smiled when he saw the blonde look up at him, amused at his weary confusion.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked.

"I work here," the young man replied simply. "Who are you? You go to school over at CDCBU? You look like a college kid. I ought to card you."

Naruto scowled now, becoming annoyed at the conniving grin that began to spread across the guy's face.

"Where's the old man?" he asked, referring to the regular bartender who had been there every other time he had come in and who knew what he wanted without asking.

"Doesn't work here anymore," came the reply. Naruto was lost, but he didn't care at this point. He just kept squinted eye contact with this kid for a little longer, mouth slightly agape and lightly shaking his head before he looked back down to his arms which rested on the bar.

"I want two shots of Glenlivet 12," Naruto said flatly.

"ID?"

The blonde's head shot back up at him incredulously.

"You're _seriously_ gonna check my age."

"It's the law," the young man shrugged.

Naruto stared back at him defiantly for a moment, slightly showing teeth behind parted lips before reaching down to yank his wallet from his pocket, removing his ID from it. Deliberately slowly, he placed the edge of the card down on the bar, keeping begrudged eye contact with the brunette for a short moment before he finally snapped the other end of his ID onto the surface of the bar. The young man promptly picked it up and took his time examining it, looking between the ID and back to its owner several times as if skeptical of its authenticity.

"Naruto…Uzumaki, huh?" he said slowly handing the ID back to its owner, who proceeded to put it back into his wallet.

"Nice to meet you. My name's Kiba. Oh, and…by the address listed on there, I'd venture to say that I was right and that you _do_ go to school here. What's your major? And how's your semester going?"

"As much as you may enjoy reading people, a good bartender doesn't ask a lot of questions," the blonde said sarcastically. "Also, I haven't been served yet."

Kiba shrugged his shoulders and smiled, tapping the counter with his hand before slowly walking back down the bar. The blonde watched him as he took two shot glasses from a rack behind the counter, and then grabbed the bottle of Glenlivet 12. He slowly walked back to his customer and set the two empty shot glasses in front of Naruto, taking his time pouring out the two shots. He pushed them forward toward him.

"I'm a lousy bartender," he said and walked back, replacing the bottle on the back counter of the bar, and then turning around, leaning his back against it to rest.

Naruto looked at him for a moment, shook his head slightly, then picked up one of the shots and threw it back, feeling the tingle in his throat of the fiery liquid. He then picked up the second one and consumed it in the same manner. After, he held up his hand with the first to fingers outstretched, his usual signal for another round.

Kiba appeared before him a moment later and refilled the shot glasses, and moved them back toward the blonde. In response, Naruto swallowed them in quick succession.

"What are you trying to get away from?" Kiba asked him observing his behavior. "You've had four shots in the span of five minutes."

Naruto looked at him and didn't answer, so Kiba placed the bottle on the bar, back far enough to where the blonde knew he wasn't meant to touch it, and then went down to the other end. He returned a minute later and put a glass of water before Naruto.

"I don't want that," Naruto said blankly.

"Just space it out a little," Kiba said. "Trust me, you'll thank me in the morning."

Kiba then took the whiskey bottle and placed it on the back counter once more. He then took his place leaning up against the back bar again. A minute later, Kiba was interrupted by a young couple who just walked in and began talking to him.

Naruto sighed, wishing he had gotten two more shots. He idly picked up the water glass and took a sip, watching the way the ice moved about in the liquid. He sat the glass down, feeling the four shots taking the desired effect over his senses. After a while, Kiba came back to him.

"How are you doing Naruto?" he asked.

"Better than before, I guess," the blonde answered, gaining a somewhat surprised look from Kiba, indicated by his slightly cocked eyebrows. Then Naruto thought a moment.

"Hey, Kiba! Heh, maybe I'm not doing so well," Naruto laughed in his drunken stupor. "In _fact_ , this has probably been the worst week of my life!"

Kiba looked at him, listening as his brows began to furrow, unbeknownst to Naruto.

"Sooooo…my best friend killed himself, his funeral was yesterday, and the best part? There's not a damn thing I can do to change any of it!" Naruto said, his eyes widening at parts to put some flare into his speech, as if he felt the need to make it sound exciting to Kiba.

"That is pretty rough," Kiba said. "Now I understand why you're here. I'm really sorry about your friend."

Naruto tipped his glass of water to Kiba in acknowledgement before going to take another sip. The Kiba pondered to himself for a moment.

You know, in my experience bartending, I heard a story once. This guy was pretty much in the same boat as you."

"I'm sure that it's different, Kiba. Believe me."

"Well you see, one day, he realized that his friend wouldn't have wanted him to waste his life, just… waiting…waiting and hanging onto the false hope that someday, he would somehow just…come back from the dead," Kiba explained as Naruto found himself captivated by the water in front of him as he listened, the ice floating still in the liquid inside.

"Such miracles don't happen," Kiba said as Naruto felt his eyes twitch slightly at the words. "And I'm sure, that if your best friend were able to, he wouldn't wanna know that you were just sitting in a bar alone, now would he? I'm sure he'd want you to continue living each day to the fullest."

"We can't live for the dead, after all," Kiba finished.

Naruto sat in thought for a good few minutes before replying.

"I don't know what he would have thought," Naruto whispered at the counter, looking down. "I just left him alone at the end…I betrayed him at the end."

"He's forgiven you, Naruto. I know it," Kiba said. "But don't listen to me; you need to pick yourself up and be the best person you can be, for the sake of his memory. Oh, and…drinking isn't going to help you pass your classes either."

"Classes have been tough to go to lately. I feel like everyone's looking at me, like I have the god damned scarlet letter burnt into my face. I know none of them know anything about this, but that feeling...it's still there."

"Don't worry," Kiba said, with a smile as Naruto looked back up at him. "I hear that goes away too, eventually. Now, you get two more shots, then you're done for tonight, okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Naruto waved his hand in defeat.

Kiba took away the two shot glasses that Naruto had used for his previous four shots and brought back two more clean ones, which he set before the blonde. He then poured out the two shots and again moved the glasses toward Naruto.

"Thanks," Naruto said as he swallowed the first, tasting something oddly different. "Hey, what is that?"

"It's Glenlivet 18," Kiba said.

"What's that gonna cost me?"

"Those two are on the house."

"Oh, wow, thanks…" Naruto said. "Hey, I'm sorry I was rude when I first came in. I kinda can't help it these days."

"Yeah, it's cool," Kiba said, shrugging his shoulders and smiling again. "Once you're done, drink that water and then head on home. And be careful."

"Thanks," Naruto replied, watching as Kiba went back and took a loaded tray of glasses out from under the bar, taking them to the back room to put them in the dishwasher.

By the time he returned, Naruto was gone. He walked up to where he was sitting, and his eyes widened slightly when he found a ten dollar tip sitting under the glass separate from his payment. He lightly smiled as he took the payments and began washing the shot glasses, leaning against the back counter.

The blonde walked up the outside stairs to his apartment which was warmly lit up from the inside, offering a sense of home in the dark, snowy night. Inserting the key in the lock, he opened the door to a house which felt oddly…warmer. He stepped inside the dimly lit home, feeling the friendliness of the room as he looked out the window near the door at the snow which fell quietly and peacefully to the ground. He wasted no time in getting out of the clothes he had worn that day, climbing into his soft, welcoming bed. He lay awake, awaiting sleep to overtake him once again.

 _Hm. Kiba, huh?_ He thought to himself as he stared at the shadows the trees made in the moonlight shine on his furniture through the window. _I wonder when I became such an open book._

Naruto's eyes slowly closed, and soon, he found himself lying as if among the clouds, breathing in peacefully the warm air of his home, safe and sound as he drifted off to sleep.


	4. Touch

_**Touch**_

* * *

Shikamaru sat alone at his small dining room table, jumping through his thoughts as the sun shone down on the whitest of mornings. Glancing over toward the clock on the wall, he dully noted that the time was now 11:47. Seeing this, the shirker effortlessly calculated that he had precisely thirty-one minutes before he had to leave to meet Hinata for lunch.

She had sent him a text message the day before to let him know that she had been with Naruto and that she wanted to talk about what had transpired. Agreeing to this, the two had eventually decided to meet on campus at 12:30 today when Hinata had a break between her classes and before Shikamaru went to his first class of the day. Shikamaru knew very well that Hinata would obviously be an easier person for Naruto to talk to; they'd known each other for years. Almost as long as he knew Sasuke. Maybe, just maybe, he could figure out exactly the root of the problem by listening to what Hinata had to say.

Looking out through his kitchen window, Shikamaru saw that the day was again generally gray and monotone, and once again, a light snow was falling from the sky. Even though the temperature was somewhat higher than it had been over the last several days, the white flakes still fell. Every day. The raven thought that eventually they'd all be buried in the stuff as long as it keeps up like this.

Other than the weather which refused to change or relent, Shikamaru's mind was still inordinately preoccupied with the information that he had received from Itachi yesterday. His gaze held steady to the cold outside through the window, and he endlessly wondered if he should tell Hinata about what he had learned about their late friend. Sitting in his chair for what felt like forever, he remained deep in thought for several more minutes before deciding that the information was something he couldn't share right now. Not yet. Just as he had promised Itachi, only when the time was right would he reveal it. Even then, it would only be relayed to the one person who needed to know.

Glancing from the window over at the clock again, he read the time through distorted, white-burned vision before he stood up from his table and walked over to the entrance of the apartment. Taking his coat and scarf from the closet, he wrapped the scarf about his neck and pulled his arms through the sleeves of the coat, buttoning it and removing his gloves from the pocket in the process. Pulling his gloves onto his hands, he walked through the door and outside, shutting it behind him and locking it before turning to approach the matte black Audi which awaited him.

 **xXxXx**

Hinata had arrived at the Saige Cafe located just off campus early due to her class being released earlier than scheduled. She took her earmuffs off as she walked inside from the cold, hearing the door shut behind her.

"Hi, welcome to Saige!" the boy said from behind the counter as he lifted a sack of coffee beans off the wooden table to his side and onto the ground.

"Hi," Hinata began, "I'm just waiting for a friend first, if that's ok?" she said as she pointed toward the door behind her.

"Of course," he replied. "Take your time, feel free to grab a seat on one of the couches or something if you want!"

"Ok," Hinata smiled. "Thanks."

Making her way into the café, she sat down at a small, round wooden table to await her friend's arrival. Saige Café was the go-to hotspot for a lot of students at CDCBU, since it was just a short walk from campus, and it had the best food and coffee around. Inside, they often played independent artist's renditions of popular songs, and the atmosphere was generally very warm and welcoming, with a chalkboard menu hanging from the ceiling, the smell of breakfast sandwiches and seasonings floating through the air, and of course the sound of freshly-brewing coffee.

As she waited for Shikamaru to pull up in his car, Hinata's mind drifted back twenty-four hours, revisiting the time she spent with Naruto. When she thought about it, she wondered if her words had really helped him even a little bit. He was pretty unresponsive to the topic for the most part. Something he had never been to Hinata, and that scared her to a very harsh extent. Naruto always told her what was on his mind, but yesterday he was just…not himself. She reminded herself to check in on him later that evening. She was brought back to the present a short while later by the sound of the café door opening, and the sight of Shikamaru being greeted in the same friendly way by the boy working behind the counter. After their exchange, in which he ordered two hot macchiatos for himself and Hinata, he was told that they would bring the order out to them. Thanking him and paying, he approached the table at which Hinata sat, patiently waiting.

"Hi," he said, taking off his gloves and coat, placing it over the chair he was about to sit in.

"Hello, Shikamaru," Hinata replied lightly, smiling as he sat down opposite her at the table.

"How are your classes?"

"Oh, they're going all right. Not too hard, not too easy," Hinata answered. "How are yours?"

"Good, thanks," he replied, nodding his head with a smile. There was a pause between them for a moment in which they both occupied their gazes with thin air before Hinata quietly inhaled.

"I'm not sure about Naruto," Hinata began tentatively, gaining Shikamaru's attention back up from the table. "In class yesterday before we met up for lunch, he was just…still. It was like he wasn't even there. At the end of class, he got up and almost left without a word, like he had no idea that I was sitting right next to him."

Shikamaru listened, watching his friend with a concerned look upon his face, hands folded just under his chin. He had hoped that perhaps he was going to hear that Naruto had been dealing with the situation a bit better than before. He was afraid of being mistaken, but unfortunately, as he had initially suspected, Naruto seemed to be not dealing with it at all. It was a scary thing to see him like this; losing Sasuke really affected his life more than Shikamaru had estimated. Although, who could blame him? They were best friends from the very beginning.

"When we were walking to the restaurant, he seemed a little more focused," Hinata continued as a sadness crept into her silvery eyes before she let out a short, hollow laugh. "He even thought to go through the string of buildings so that we wouldn't be cold."

Shikamaru looked upon her with a sympathetic gaze, gently holding her attention as she continued.

"Once we got there, though, he seemed so distracted. We sat down at a booth and he just stared out the window. It was as if he were expecting something awful to happen at any moment," Hinata said as she diverted her eyes to the surface of the table, slowly shaking her head. "I'm so worried about him, Shikamaru."

"I'm worried about him, too," he said slowly, looking down to the table to think for a moment more before biting his lip and looking back up hesitantly at Hinata. "Hinata, I think he might be drinking. A lot."

Hinata looked at him, holding back a gasp. She stared back at him in absolute disbelief before shaking her head again, mouthing the word 'no' over and over. All her compounded worry and concern released itself in that moment as she felt her heart sink in the waters which threatened to drown it.

"After the funeral," Shikamaru said, "we stopped at that little bar on the edge of town. I saw him behave in a way I've never seen come from him before. At first I had chalked it up as a simple side effect from the pain that day brought him, but…the more I think about it, the more I believe he was using alcohol to—"

Shikamaru breathed before uttering, "To hide."

"What? Hide? Shikamaru, I don't understand. What did he do, exactly?" Hinata asked hesitantly.

"Hinata, he didn't even have to order," the shirker continued, a slight hardness beginning to roughly edge his voice. "The bartender just brought him two shots without him even asking for anything, and he drank them both as fast as he got them."

Hinata took in Shikamaru's words as a visibly disturbed expression appeared on her face. That sounded nothing like the Naruto she knew. The Naruto she'd _known_.

"It didn't end there. After those two, he got two more, and tried to suck them down just like he did before, but I tried to talk to him first. I tried to say that maybe he had had enough. When I did though, he looked at me so…strangely. He was defiant, reckless, and almost…hopeless. He looked at me right in the eyes and he drank it. Slowly. Right in front of me. He was challenging me, daring me to do something about it. I was afraid that the situation was about to escalate to violence, so just I remained calm. I did manage to get him to stop eventually, but if I hadn't, Hinata...I'm really not sure if he even _would've_ stopped."

"You made the right call, Shikamaru," she said looking up at him. "I'm so glad that you were the one there with him. Do you think he goes there on his own?"

"Yes, I'm sure of it. How else would they know what he wanted without him having to tell them."

"Oh," Hinata hurt for Naruto so much at that moment. "It's so much worse than I thought, then. He must feel so lost…I don't know what to do, Shikamaru. He usually tells me everything, but he's not doing that. I'm so scared for him."

"Hinata, we need to be strong. We have to let him know that we're always here for him, and that we aren't going anywhere." Shikamaru said, looking into her crystal eyes. "Stay strong, Hinata. For Naruto."

 **xXxXx**

"Me, I'm just a simple bartender. A simple kid with a simple job," Kiba said, smiling and shrugging his shoulders as he slowly poured out two shots of Glenlivet 12 for Naruto. "I'm not the best at it though, but, you already knew that."

He slowly pushed the two shot glasses toward the blonde on the opposite of the bar who was silently eyeing him somewhat suspiciously. "Am I right?"

"Thanks," Naruto said. He was about to say something further, but suddenly, another customer who was with a group of four or five other people about Naruto's age called over to Kiba for another round.

Kiba looked over to them and nodded before turning back to his blonde customer.

"Duty calls," Kiba said, smiling warmly. "Sit tight, I'll be back."

At that, Naruto's eyes followed Kiba as he took off to the other end of the bar to service the young patrons who seemed to be having the time of their lives.

Naruto felt that his mind needed dulling, so he picked up the first shot, playing with the glass between his fingers and looking at it for a second before finally swallowing it, letting the viscous substance drain down his throat. He knew he had been sitting at the bar for some length of time now, but he wasn't sure exactly how long. He picked up the next shot, only his second drink of the night, and swallowed that one as well. After placing the empty glass back down on the bar top, he looked over at the group of people, who were talking loudly in high spirits. None of them looked familiar to him, so he turned his attention back to the two empty glasses in front of him. Slowly, he used his two index fingers to push them along the aged wood of the bar. Slowly…slowly they came nearer to each other until they just barely touched, as if the rims of the glasses were kissing.

The blonde smiled lightly, then looked up suddenly in the same direction where the brunette had walked. Kiba wasn't there. He wasn't helping the other customers anymore and he wasn't leaning against the spot on the back bar he seemed to prefer.

 _Hm. Elusive bastard_ he thought as he turned to look back down at the glasses in front of him which still gently butted up against each other.

Naruto turned around restlessly upon hearing the door of the bar open, feeling a blast of cool air just barely reaching him from across the room. He saw two more people near his age come in, a guy and a girl, probably on a date he thought. He watched them with mild curiosity for a moment, until they both sat down at one of the small tables, smiling to each other.

He then slowly turned back around and was startled nearly off his chair to find that Kiba had returned out of nowhere. He was standing with the same smug smile on his face, his shaggy brown hair falling down slightly over his eyes. He placed a glass of ice water on the bar, and slid it forward a few inches toward the blonde.

"Hi," Kiba said, with a chuckle. "Drink this for now. I've got to go out back and bring in some more wood for the fireplace. I'm counting on you to keep the place standing while I'm gone."

"Oh, you're…wait what?" Naruto trailed off as he watched Kiba disappear through the door and into the back area of the bar, presumably on his way outside into the woods. Naruto smiled to himself, slowly letting his breath loose when he heard the door close from back behind the bar.

He sipped the ice water Kiba had brought for him and waited patiently. This place started losing more and more of the old faces every day. They've been getting replaced by people his age, people who didn't have a goddamned care in the world, it seemed. Naruto felt strangely okay with the noise. More at peace with the life that entered here than he ever felt.

Before he knew it, he had finished a little less than half of the glass of water. Kiba returned to the bar a few moments later, rubbing his hands together to warm them. He came up to the blonde and stopped in front of him, placing both his hands flat on the bar and balancing, leaning forward on his arms.

"So, any trouble while I was out?" he asked.

"None at all. Oh, wait," Naruto answered, looking up and seeing that Kiba had a ton of snowflakes caught in his hair. He reached out and brushed them away, then withdrew his arm quickly when he realized what he was doing.

"You uh…you had snow in your hair," he explained. "Is it coming down pretty heavily?"

"Thanks," Kiba said, laughing. "And, no, just flurries, but it's gotten really cold out. A jacket probably would've been a good idea, but whatever I guess."

"That sucks," Naruto observed and then added, "You know what else is gonna suck? My heating bill this month, shit."

"Ain't that the truth," Kiba agreed, running his hand through his damp hair in an attempt to dry it.

"By the way, how long has it been since you gave me those two shots?" Naruto asked suddenly. "I hadn't realized it but I was sitting here a while…"

"Eh, maybe about an hour," Kiba said with a shrug of his shoulders. "You were talking though, and I didn't want to interrupt you."

"Yeah," Naruto said looking down at the bar. "It was kind of funny, though…unnerving, actually."

"How so?" Kiba asked, walking backwards in order to keep his eyes on the blonde. He reached over and picked up the bottle of Glenlivet 12 and returned back to his place in front of his customer.

"I don't usually talk that much," Naruto said, not looking up.

"I see," Kiba said, laughing lightly. "It's okay, I tend to have that effect on people."

"You do, huh…" Naruto mumbled, once again staring at the two shot glasses which sat together, rims touching, connected in perfect harmony. After a moment went by, he looked up to see that Kiba was pouring him two more shots.

"Hm. Maybe I'm not too bad at this bartending thing after all," he said with another smile, putting the bottle back where he found it. "I gotta go check on everyone else, so enjoy."

Naruto watched him go out amongst the people at the tables before turning back to the two shots. He picked the first up and swallowed it, feeling the familiar warmth it created in his stomach as it settled. He then threw the next one to the back of his throat just as easily. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment to let his mind soften to the alcohol.

Kiba returned a while later and poured out two more shots of the whiskey.

"Three rounds is your limit," he said. "Here you go."

"Yeah, no problem," Naruto said, watching the clear, amber-colored fluid pour from the bottle into the glasses. He then looked back up to the brunette.

"Hey Kiba, what's the story with your tattoos?"

The young man looked at the blonde a bit quizzically before the lightbulb moment hit him like a brick.

"Oh, these," he said with a chuckle, running his hand over his cheek. "Remind me to tell you again sometime. I will, but tonight isn't the night."

He then went over and placed the bottle of Glenlivet 12 back amongst its brothers on the back of the bar. He then leaned up against it to rest, in his usual spot. Naruto carefully and hesitantly took the next shot of whiskey and then placed the glass slowly back down on the bar, this time turning it upside down. He then took the sixth and final shot of the night, placing the glass down the same as the first. He pulled out his wallet and took some money from it, placing it between the two shot glasses.

As he stood up, he looked over to find that Kiba had gone to serve the group of kids that had been there from earlier. Naruto put on his scarf and coat, pulled on his gloves and glanced over again to see Kiba opening beer bottles. Upon eye contact, he waved to the blonde.

"Be careful out there," he called. "See you next time."

 **xXxXx**

Shikamaru was once again seated at his dining room table, exactly as he had been that same morning. Night had fallen hours ago and the hanging lamp suspended over the dining table was the only source of light in entire apartment. Sasuke's journal lay upon the barren table, unopened, and Shikamaru was staring at it intently.

Finally, after a length of time, he breathed as he reached out, slowly sliding it closer to him. After curling his fingers around its borders, he opened the cover. Within, he found Sasuke's signature on the front page. He looked at it closely for several minutes.

"Forgive me, Sasuke," he whispered as he turned the page again.

 _January 9 - I feel elated but also like something's just behind me all the time. Like something's always gnawing in the back of my mind. Maybe I'm imaging things, I don't know. I just know how I feel, and what I want, and I don't care who disagrees. People don't try to understand me, and I get tired of trying to explain it. It's just tiresome, really. I'm tired…really tired tonight. It's getting late, but I need to head out soon so I can meet up with Kisame at his place at 10:00. Itachi wouldn't like me going there, I'm well aware. I just have to be careful to make sure he doesn't find out._

Shikamaru closed his eyes and the journal at the same time, shaking his head sadly as he rested his chin on his loose fist. He sighed deeply as he sat in the empty room, watching the branches of the trees outside lightly dance in the soft winds under the moonlight of yet another night which was colored gray as the heavens above.


	5. Hide and Seek

_**Hide and Seek**_

Naruto held his hands firmly over his shut eyes as he felt himself being turned around and around by the two sets of small arms. After they stopped turning him, he could hear feet scampering off through the grass as he began counting down out loud backwards from twenty.

 _20…_

 _19…_

 _18…_

 _17…_

 _16…_

He could hear laughter suddenly in the distance and his excitement grew.

 _15…_

 _14…_

 _13…_

 _12…_

 _11…_

 _10…_

 _9…_

A quick shriek of his friend alerted him to what direction he should turn to.

 _8…_

 _7…_

 _6…_

 _5…_

 _4…_

Now all that reached his ears was silence.

"THREE-TWO-ONE!" he rushed the last part and pulled away his hands and opened his eyes. "READY OR NOT!"

He looked around as a smile came over his face. He thought he had known which direction he would go in, but looking around now, he was uncertain. He tentatively took a step forward, straining his ears for any little sign that would give him a clue. The sun was shining brightly in the clear blue sky and a warm breeze was blowing against his face, and he was enjoying the way it tossed his blonde hair back and forth upon his head. He listened again as he looked toward a small potting shed in one corner of the yard.

Naruto carefully walked toward it, confident that a certain someone would be hidden around or behind it. He slowed his pace, taking short steps, trying to be as quiet as possible. Positioning himself slyly at the corner of the shed, he stood silently ready…he jumped out, waiting to hear a shout of surprise from the person behind it. However, it never came; there was no one there. He stared, confused for a moment before he heard laughter from behind, to which he quickly spun around.

A row of hedges along the far end of the yard caught his eye, and the young blonde dashed off toward it with a triumphant grin spreading across his face. To him, it seemed to be taking an eternity to cross the yard; it seemed exponentially larger than he had remembered. As he got closer and closer to the hedges, he could see the branches trembling and he thought he could hear muffled laughter.

He began running harder and faster, crossing eternity as he felt his feet dig into the ground with each step until finally he found himself arriving at his destination. With a deep breath and a pause, Naruto leapt through the hedges, swiping the greenery from his hair and clothes wildly as he appeared on the other side. Immediately, the blonde kept the element of surprise as he swiftly looked about him, shortly eyeing the raven-haired boy who lie on the other side.

"SASUKE!" he cried out triumphantly upon seeing his astonished friend.

The Raven screamed in what seemed like a harmonic mixture of perfect delight and sheer terror as he lifted himself up as fast as he could and bolted away in the opposite direction, making a break for the safe zone. Instinctually, Naruto followed in hot pursuit, rapidly gaining ground on the boy in front of him.

He was so close…so close that he felt he could almost reach out in front of him and grasp Sasuke's blue t-shirt. His hopes rose to no avail as he outstretched his fingers toward him, finding himself unable to even touch a single thread of the shirt. They ran on, and as they did, time seemed to slow across the lawn which now grew endless. It stretched beneath their feet, leading off to what seemed could only be the great beyond. The sun sunk lower in the sky, casting an orange glow across the world above them as it fled behind the trees. Naruto looked back down from the sight which beheld his eyes, only to realize that there was no one in front of him now. Stopping, he looked in all directions and further across the yard until he finally found Sasuke, who slowly turned around to face him from the back porch of the house. A solemn expression crept its way onto his face as he looked upon Naruto with what he could only understand was sorrow. Regret. Agony. Naruto was frozen in place and could only watch his friend stare back at him, petrifying him in the midst of his sorrowful gaze.

"I have to go now," Sasuke said, his high-pitched, childlike voice traveling easily across the gulf that divided them. "I can't stay out…I have to go."

"NO!" Naruto shouted, "Don't…Sas…"

The words caught in his throat, and choked him harder than anything else in the world as he looked to him once again, only to see that Sasuke had aged to his twenty-one year old self.

"I have to go, Naruto," he said, slipping into the unnaturally dark shadows of the porch which began to consume his being. "I have to go…"

Naruto's eyes shot open as he whipped his arms around in the air, feeling his body shoot upwards to sit up in his bed. For a small moment he was utterly confused as to where he was. He shot his eyes over to the clock as he continued breathing heavily, feeling as if a huge weight were pressing down upon him. It was overbearing, and it was almost crushing him. He felt his entire body implode before putting his hands over his face, violently wiping away the mysterious wetness caused by the tears which he couldn't remember falling.

"Why did you have to go," he whispered, finding his mouth incapable of closing as his face tightened. "Sasuke...I miss you."

* * *

Hinata sat across from Naruto at his kitchen table. The blonde looked haggard. He hadn't shaved or taken a shower yet that day, and he had dark circles under his eyes. She had brought sandwiches from a local deli over for them to have for lunch, but now, neither seemed very interested in eating.

Naruto seemed listless and devoid of energy as he kept his weary eyes fixed on the table. At first he had made an attempt to eat the food in front of him, but he had quickly stopped pretending. Hinata noticed at once, becoming so concerned that her appetite soon receded as well.

"Naruto," she said tentatively, looking down at his level to capture his eyes. "I'm so worried about you."

"I'm fine, Hinata," Naruto mumbled, bringing his hand up to wipe his face, audibly becoming annoyed but trying not to let it show. He knew that she was just looking out for him, but he questioned whether or not he really deserved her favor.

"No, Naruto. You're not fine," she continued. "You haven't eaten anything today, you look more tired than I've ever seen you, and I'm scared because I feel like if you passed me on the street, you wouldn't even notice me saying hello to you."

"I'm just exhausted," Naruto said, pitifully trying to sound cheerful now. "Really, it's nothing. I'm all right."

As he said the words, the pang of guilt hit him immediately, though he desperately hid from it. He questioned when he became a liar, especially to Hinata. It felt even worse now that even she was beginning to doubt him. She had been there for him for so long, never once questioning her faith that he could always take care of himself. Now, she seemed to be doing just that, and it shook Naruto to the core to know that apparently he had crossed that line with her. And since he did, he wondered if he really was as ok as he made himself out to seem.

It took every ounce of his already strained concentration to hide from the lie which he had fabricated for himself. The horrible truth which he hoped never to see, though it was in plain sight. He became unhinged by the very idea, and it proved to quickly become too much for him.

"Naruto, please," she said. "We just want to help you."

She reached out her hand across the table to take ahold of his hand, and as she did so, he pulled his back without thinking. Realizing what he had done, he immediately regretted his action. He crossed his arms in front of his chest to try and wave it all off.

Hinata then withdrew her arm and sat quietly, watching the blonde across the table for several minutes. He sat still, keeping his arms crossed as he looked everywhere but at her.

"Naruto, don't shut me out. Please…please don't blame yourself for what happened to Sasuke…that wasn't your fault."

Naruto looked down at the table, at his arms, at the uneaten sandwich…anywhere but at his friend. He could still see her from his peripheral vision. He found himself nearly wishing she hadn't come over, and the fact that he thought such a thing made him feel sick to his stomach. At the same time, he felt incredibly uneasy that she was pushing him into a corner. A place where he dared not venture.

He knew that he was the reason Sasuke was no longer there. He knew that it was his truth. His reality. No matter how many people told him otherwise and no matter how many times they told him…he knew.

After frighteningly deciding that she wasn't going to get any further with Naruto, Hinata eventually got up and cleaned up the kitchen a little before finally departing. Naruto had thought that her departure might bring him some relief, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. He felt even more empty and alone than ever before. Hinata was always his rock, and even she had gone. Naruto felt as if he were now adrift on a wild, stormy sea.

He was uncertain of how long he remained seated at his table after Hinata had gone. The sun had drifted across the sky and was now casting long shadows through the half opened blinds on the windows. He was compelled a while later to rise and he mechanically went to his bedroom, lying down across his mattress. Looking over to his nightstand, he sighed as he reached out and pulled open the drawer on the piece of furniture. He then only hesitated a moment before pulling out the nearly full bottle of Glenlivet 12 that he had stashed there for convenience. It just got too annoying to keep putting it back on a shelf every time he wanted to drink it.

He sat up and took a long drink from the bottle and then set it back down onto the nightstand. The whiskey burned unbelievably this time as it went down. He lay down on his back onto the bed, trying to force himself into not thinking for a while. A completely empty mind was the only solace he could rest in

at this moment.

After some time had passed, the blonde heard someone knocking at the front door of his apartment. He lay still, thinking maybe he had imagined it. But then he heard it again. A moment later he received a text message and he picked up his phone, which was next to him on the bed. The message had come from Shikamaru.

 **Hey, you around? I'm outside your door.**

Out of a feeling of sheer obligation, Naruto pulled himself up off of his bed and made his way out to the front door. The whiskey he had consumed was already making him feel lighter. He had drank more than a shot's worth at once and combined with the fact he had barely eaten anything all day, it had taken effect almost immediately.

He pulled open the door and there indeed stood Shikamaru. The two looked at each other for a moment of simple silence.

"May I enter?" Shikamaru asked.

"Sure," Naruto said, stepping aside and pulling the door open wider so his friend could come in.

Shikamaru removed his gloves, coat, and scarf and placed them onto a chair that was near the door. Naruto sat down on the couch and Shikamaru sat in a chair that was angled off the corner of the couch. Together they sat in the immaculately clean apartment, simply and elegantly adorned with modern furnishings.

"How are you, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked.

The blonde shook his head slightly at the question. He was already tired of answering that question today.

"The same as always," he answered flatly.

"That bad?" Shikamaru persisted, causing Naruto to look over to him, his annoyance growing by the very second. "Look Naruto, I know you aren't in a good place right now, but it will get better in time."

"Heh," Naruto laughed dismissively, getting up and walking to the kitchenette on the other side of the open space, reaching up into the cabinet above the stove.

Shikamaru's eyes twitched in annoyance for a moment at Naruto's reaction.

"I'm concerned about you. Your behavior has changed dramatically over the past few days, and I'm worried. And when we stopped at that bar after Sasuke's funeral, you were like a different person."

Naruto retrieved two glasses from the cabinet, placing them both on the countertop after filling them with water from the sink. He paused for a moment, looking up to the wall in front of him, trying to numb the sting of Shikamaru's eyes burning the back of his head.

"I'm still me," Naruto said, trying to keep his irritation in check as he turned from the counter, staring his friend down as if he were a detective in an interrogation room.

"How much do you drink?" Shikamaru said plainly. "And how often?"

The blonde maintained his friend's gaze as he slowly brought the glass to his mouth, taking a long sip of the crystal liquid.

 _This isn't happening_ Naruto thought to himself. _This cannot be happening._

"You can't hide these things from your friends, Naruto," Shikamaru continued. "We care about you too much not to notice."

Naruto again felt as if he were being backed into a corner, unable to escape and unable to say anything to defend himself. His anger and annoyance at what he saw as his friends' interference in his life was threatening to spill over. He looked back down at the glass of water he held in his hand.

"Don't become enslaved by something that only numbs pain, like Sasuke did," Shikamaru implored. "Let us help you get through this."

Naruto slowly looked back up to Shikamaru, a whole new expression painfully surfacing on his face. He was angry. _Very_ angry. Shikamaru pulled back slightly as if he were in an isolated pen with a lion.

"How…how _dare_ you," Naruto growled as he stood up from leaning on the counter, and walked to Shikamaru, towering over him as he became only about a foot away from where he was sitting. The raven reacted as if being backed into a corner.

"Don't you _ever…_ say that again." Naruto growled.

"Naruto, I—"

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT HIS MEMORY LIKE THAT!" Naruto shouted, breathing heavily. He clenched the glass in his hand hard, and the blonde's arm tensed up, slightly aiming at Shikamaru before he growled again and threw the glass to the floor, watching it shatter into thousands of shards. For a moment, they were both still before Naruto calmed down with a deep breath.

"I don't want to fight with you Shikamaru. I…I think you should go now."

Shikamaru only sat there, regaining his composure from Naruto's violent outburst. He looked at his friend deeply into his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry I upset you," Shikamaru stated, rising from the chair he had been sitting in, "and I'll go for now, but I won't be far away."

Naruto looked down at the floor and ran his hand through his blonde hair as Shikamaru put on his coat and went to door where he paused and turned to Naruto.

"Silence is what you need right now, I know," he said, turning to face his friend one more time. "But the silence won't save you."

Shikamaru turned back to the door, opening it and walking outside, letting the door fall back to its resting place.

Once he had gone, Naruto sighed deeply, pressing his hands to his eyes and holding them there for a moment. Then, he began to slowly walk toward his bedroom, almost as if he were being drawn there by an invisible cord.

Passing the kitchen, he looked toward the glass of water he had originally poured for Shikamaru. There it sat on the granite countertop, its water peaceful and undisturbed. Naruto shifted his gaze back to the living room, where he had smashed his glass to bits. He stared painfully at the water spreading through the creases in the dark hardwood floor before scoffing, leaving the mess alone as he made his way to his bedroom.

He picked up the whiskey bottle and took another long drink from it, drinking until the burn became too much. At that moment, he pulled it back from his mouth, wiping with his sleeve the drips which were left on his chin. He held it in his hand and went into the bathroom to take a shower, with the idea in mind of going to the bar. As he waited for the water to warm, he took another drink of the Glenlivet and then set the bottle down on the bathroom countertop.

Naruto had finished showering and had managed to dress himself in his growing intoxication. He had just put on his shoes and leaned back against the back of the couch, trying to focus. He took another drink of whiskey, noticing that it was now nearly empty.

 _Time to go_ he thought hazily to himself.

He checked his phone for the time and it was getting late now, later than he had thought. He made an attempt to get up, but didn't quite make it. Another twenty minutes had passed when he checked the time again.

The bottle was then raised to his mouth one last time, the very last of it making its way down his throat. The bottle became suddenly heavy and Naruto's arm dropped to the couch, where he released his hold on the object. It slowly rolled to the edge and then off, making a dull thud as it fell to the carpet below. He looked at his phone again and found another ten minutes had elapsed.

Finally dragging himself up, he grabbed his coat and stumbled his way out of the apartment and to his intended destination.

* * *

At around 2:30, Kiba had finally finished closing down the bar and he was now coming out the back door to go home. There were three parking spaces behind the bar for employees to park at, and Kiba's black Honda Civic Si was the only car there, parked in the space closest to the building. The night was frigid and the stars were sparkling down from the cloudless sky.

Kiba was just locking the door when he heard a faint sound from behind him. He froze to listen more intently.

"Hey….Kiba…." he heard a hoarse voice say as he immediately spun around, his hand instantly coming to rest on the pocket knife he kept clipped to his jeans.

After focusing a moment, he saw that it was none other than Naruto who was leaning against the Civic, with one arm propping himself up, his head rolling forward. Kiba watched in silence and the blonde made to take a step toward him, but then collapsed down into the snow which lie in front of Kiba.

"Shit," Kiba whispered to himself as he rushed over to the fallen figure.

He grabbed ahold of Naruto's shoulders and turned him over onto his back, leaning his head down toward the blonde, actively looking for any signs which would indicate a medical emergency. He was relieved a moment later to hear the blonde breathing regularly.

"Naruto," Kiba said realizing that Naruto was completely drunk, senselessly mumbling inaudible, incoherent words into thin air. "Can you hear me?"

He shook Naruto slightly but didn't get a response. He thought a moment about what best to do but didn't take long to reach a conclusion.

"Since you're unconscious, I can't get you home any other way. Looks like you're gonna have to trust me on this one," Kiba said as he reached around and pulled the blonde's wallet from the back pocket of his jeans to check his ID for his address. "I hope you keep this up-to-date."

Kiba then put Naruto's arm over his shoulder and took hold of it with his own hand, slowly getting up. He put his other arm around the blonde's waist and attempted to guide him over to the passenger side of the Civic.

He pulled open the door and then gently lowered Naruto down into the seat, lifting his legs and putting them inside the car as well. He pulled the seatbelt down and fastened it across Naruto's lap and then shut the door and walked around to the other side of the car to get in.

He turned on the engine, put the transmission in neutral, and let out the clutch. He checked Naruto's ID once more and put the address into the GPS, setting the wallet into the compartment on the car's center console. He released the e-brake, put the car into gear and backed out of the parking space, driving off guided by the GPS.

A short while later, they arrived at Naruto's apartment building, and Kiba parked as close as he could to the entrance. He shut off the engine and looked over to Naruto.

"You awake yet?" he asked, then receiving no response, laughed again. "Ha, just kidding."

He reached over to unlatch the blonde's seatbelt when a thought occurred to him.

"Yeah, guess I'm going to need a key to get you inside," he said aloud to himself. He turned and reached over to examine Naruto's coat. He checked both side pockets as well as the inside pocket but found nothing. He then pulled the coat back tentatively and looked down at the blonde's pants. He noticed a slight protrusion in the right hand pocket.

"Where else would they be?" he asked, another slight laugh coming from him. He then reached over and pulled the keys from the blonde's jeans before pausing to look around at the nearly barren parking lot.

"This must look so sketchy…" he said as he placed his full attention back to the unconscious blonde.

Kiba then got out of the car and went back around it to pull Naruto out, again with his arm around Kiba's shoulder. He then walked him outside and located the apartment, managing to figure out the right key to open the door. They went inside, and Kiba pushed the door shut behind him. He felt around the wall for a light switch and turned it on.

"I'mmm sooooo tirrrrred," Naruto slurred, momentarily showing signs of life.

"I know," Kiba said. "Won't be long now."

Kiba took a moment to observe the apartment, particularly the broken glass and water which covered the floor in the living room near the couches. He looked at it sadly before diverting his attention back to Naruto, who was slurring garbled words.

After locating the bedroom, he sat the blonde down on the edge of the bed, pulled the covers back, and then took Naruto's coat off of him and also his shoes. He then gently let him fall back, his head coming to rest on the nearest pillow. Kiba pulled the covers up over him, and once he was finished, he sat on the edge of the bed, quietly thinking for several minutes and making sure that Naruto would be okay.

Once he was assured nothing was wrong and Naruto just needed to sleep it off, he stood up to go, but a picture frame that was face down on the nightstand caught his eye.

Curiosity got the better of him and he picked it up to see it was a photograph of Naruto and another boy, with black hair and eyes. They both looked happy and Kiba smiled. He set the frame back down on the nightstand upright and then glanced over to Naruto again before turning and leaving the room. In the other room, he found an envelope on the kitchen counter and picked it up. He turned to go, but noticed a glass of water sitting quietly on the countertop. Shrugging, he lifted it up to his mouth, tipping the bottom of the glass higher and higher into the air until all of the contents poured down his throat. Afterwards, he placed the empty glass into the kitchen sink before he left through the front door, pulling it shut behind him. He locked the door and then dropped the key in the envelope, sealed it, and then pushed it underneath the door back inside the apartment.


End file.
